A Group Apart?

“Your ears aren’t pierced.” I inform L as if it were a stain on her sleeve or spinach in her teeth a fact she does not know and will quickly correct.

“Yes,” she laughs. “Is that a problem?”

“I just assumed everyone our age had their ears pierced.” By everyone, I mean all females. Sexist, probably.

“So I should be like everyone else? I have to get my ears pierced?” Shameless, sarcasm.

I laugh. “No.”

Earlier in the evening, L and I discussed different groups, cliques, and stereotypes we were placed into by others. During the discourse, we spoke about how we did not truly fit into them. We liked to think of ourselves as independent, untied to groupthink. I believe L and I try to be ourselves rather than a part of a clique. But there arises a danger in that.

A number of people I knew in college who tried to define themselves as independent outsiders. It was a self-made brand of exclusion they wore with pride. Instead of doing what they liked, they constantly stated what they were not: jock, nerd, religious, liberal. In the end, others saw them as a group of negatives. They became a select number of people who let differences define them and pushed away those who did not fit into their mold of uniqueness.

L and I try to be ourselves: artist, writer, Christian, Democrat, student. We want to avoid stereotypes and avoid being known for what we are not.